A.W.K. Archive

I was born to be alive, and simultaneously, to die. You know? When you think of all the people that are not alive, that once were, it makes me feel very lucky to have a life at all. I want to use it out of respect for having it in the first place, and out of respect for the people who no longer live. Those that have died would not want me to waste the life I have left. They would want me to do something with it, to do what makes me happy and allow others that same freedom. Today is here right now, and for all I know tomorrow might not come around. So, what am I going to do with today while it's here? What has happened before and what will happen is not as important as what is happening right now. Today is the only thing I have. And just because yesterday was different and tomorrow might change, it doesn't mean that I shouldn't use today for all I can. Here is a story I made up: There was once a lonely old woman. She had no one to talk to, and no one to spend time with. She was a very lonely woman. One day a stray cat came to the door of the lonely old woman. It was meowing because it was hungry. She was delighted to see the cat and decided that the right thing to do was to feed him. She brought out some tuna and a dish of cream, and the cat gobbled it up. This made the cat happy and the old woman was not as lonely. The next day the same cat returned to the old woman, but another cat also followed it. The cat had told another stray that there was an old woman to feed them. The woman was pleased with more company and happily fed both of the cats big dishes of tuna and cream, and the old woman talked to the cats and was not as lonely as the day before. The next day four cats came - the word was spreading amongst the cats about the friendly old woman. By the end of the week 8 cats were showing up regularly and the old woman was running out of food. She went to the fish market to get some more tuna. The man behind the counter asked her, "What do you need with all this fish?" "I am feeding some stray cats." she said. "If you feed them, more and more cats will come. Eventually there will be too many and you won't be able to feed them any of them. It will be too hard." said the man. "But right now there are only 8 cats and that is not too many for me to feed." replied the old woman. "But you have to think about the future, soon the day will come and you will have 8,000 cats wanting food. What will you do with 8,000 cats?" asked the man. The woman thought for a moment and then said, "Right now there are 8 cats and that I know I can do. If it gets to be 8,000 I will figure it out." The man scowled, "You're being foolish. You should just stop feeding them all together, or your will regret it." The old woman walked out the door with her fish and felt worried. On her way back home the old woman thought long and hard about what the man had said. "Maybe he's right." she thought, "Even though I can feed them now I might not be able to do it forever, and it might become too much for me." More doubts entered her mind when she walked up to her door to be greeted by 4 new cats. There were now 12, and the old woman was surprised. "Oh no, maybe he's right!", she thought. She ran into her house and closed the door. After a few minutes she calmed herself down and decided that her panic was silly. After taking a deep breath she thought, "I'm an old woman, and I don't have all that many years left to feed cats, or do much else for that matter. I might as well do what I please." So the woman went back outside and fed the cats, and they purred and rubbed up against her and she hugged them and didn't feel very lonely at all. The woman kept feeding the cats every day, and every day more and more cats did come. And as the months passed, she grew less and less lonely. And even though there were many cats, there weren't too many and she loved finding ways to feed them all. She was very happy. One day, just before she was going to get more fish, she passed away. But right before she died she saw a line of hundreds of cats, one by one, making their way to her door, and as her eyes closed she realized she had never felt more loved. And she was never lonely again. THE END. The moral of the story: If you can do something good today, and it makes you and others happy, don't worry if you can still do it tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come. Don't save up things for later, because later might be too late. There are always a million reasons not to do something. There's always "what if this happens?", or "in the past, that didn't work", or "you won't be able to do that forever". Nothing is forever. Life isn't forever. You only need one reason to do something. The cats loved the woman because of what she did for them, and without her they would've had less. And even though they can't have food from her anymore, they were glad to have had food from her at all. And she might not have been able to feed 8,000 cats, but 8,000 cats never came. Is it right to NOT feed 8 cats because of 8,000 more you can't feed? Isn't it better to run one mile of a marathon race than no miles at all? Don't worry about things that are not there, or have not yet come, because they are NOT THERE and have NOT YET COME. Give more than you think is possible RIGHT NOW and prove to yourself that you have more than you thought. Don't let possibilities destroy reality, and don't let reality destroy possibility. Some how or another I have wound up in this amazing life. I am very lucky. People have given me the power to make them happy. I did not give it to myself. It is an honor above all honors to have people look to me in that way. It is incredible, but also very humbling, because this power has been given to me by others, as a gift, I would never disgrace it by not trying to use it. So I am inspired to make the most of what I've been given. You know? I'm NOT saying I am larger than life, I'm not. I'm not the most successful person, or the strongest, or the coolest, or the best in anyway. But because of other people's support and love, I feel like the best me. The best Andrew W.K. And that is all need to be, and in that I can do no wrong. I will keep trying to do right by everyone who has given me the chance. And because they might not have the chance themselves. Don't knock it before you've tried it. And once you've tried it, try it again. And again. And don't ever stop trying. Don't ever stop trying to be as alive as possible. Don't give up. Don't let things get the better of you. Don't let yourself get the better of you. Be stronger. It is not all or nothing. You have nothing unless you try and do it all. Dead serious. Above everything else is an understanding of why I feel the way I feel, think how I think, and I do what I do. And why other people say what they say, think what they think, and do what they do. Because usually what someone else does, I do too, and I can probably understand it. But when I can't, I don't let it stop me or slow me down - I use it to make me move faster. You can make the bad into good. When I feel frustrated or sad or angry I use that to try and do something. You know? Those feelings are so powerful, and I want to at least do something with them, even if I can't understand them or stop them. I don't want to just let them sit in my head and bring me down. So if I feel really angry, or jealous, or frustrated, I will go exercise, or run, or ride on my bike. Sometimes just getting outside and walking around by myself can make me feel better. Sometimes I would put the feelings into work, saying to myself, "I'm going to work harder than anything and I'm going to blow everything away." And maybe I can't work harder than anything, and maybe I don't blow anything away, but I was working as hard as could for myself, in the end. To prove to myself that I won't stop and that I can't be brought down. Even if the things I feel don't make sense, or if the things I think are wrong or confused, I'm still just trying to get something out of it.